The Night Before Christmas
by sh4mesh4me
Summary: This poem is quite funny. Unfortunately, it does not receive the glory it deserves due to the frustratingly tinynosity of this fandom.


I don't own anyone in this, and I don't own Christmas.

**The Night Before Christmas**

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the apartment house

Everyone was screaming, cried Mrs Ichinose, "Yusaku, you louse!

Get off your lazy bum and party it up!

Here's a fan, here's a seat, here's sake, have a cup!"

And Yusaku, he groaned and turned away from his school-books

He shot all the other tenants evil flower-wilting looks.

"Get off my case, can't you see that I'm hard at work?

I need to pass this exam,'tis a task I cannot shirk!"

And Akemi, she slurred, in a drunk sort of voice,

"But itsh Chrishmash Eve, Yushaku, c'mon, let ush rejoish!"

"Nonono," cried the student, next begged on hands and knees,

"For the love of God leave this room, oh please please please PLEASE!"

"All right then Yusaku, if you insist we'll take our leave,

But once we are gone you shall feel ofour presence bereve."

And Yusaku shook his head and doubted sincerely

The words of Mr Yotsuya, once they were gone he could think clearly

So the drunkards, they left, and Yusaku breathed out a sigh,

He had to focus and study, the time to impress Kyoko was nigh!

With this exam that he'd prepared for with care,

He would finally be able to pay the expensive fare

Required to board the ferry-boat that would admit him to dear Kyoko's heart,

But first on his books his must actually make astart!

So young Godai studied until near the break of dawn

Finally his head crashed to his desk, foreshadowed by a yawn

And in Godai's dream, though 'twas not a dream at all,

He was helped greatly in the outcome of the his life overall:

"Hello!" cried a voice, and though Yusaku felt weary,

He vaguely recognized it (the voice), but not the face, as his vision was bleary

So the boy rubbed his eyes and snapped them open at once

For another voice had approached, shouting at him, "You dunce!"

Then Yusaku felt a hat being perched atop his stupid tufty bed-head

Memories of flunk-out days rushed back, for 'dunce' the hat read

Godai looked up in fury, not sure what it was he'd see

And then, "This can't be real…" seemed appropriate to decree

For before the boy floated two small hand-puppets

Yusaku knew both, for he'd made the ungrateful muppets

They shouted at Yusaku as he tried to recall,

What could have brought him here, perhaps he'd a had a fall?

Jumbled his head so that he'd went totally nuts?

"That's not it, moron," cried the prince-puppet, "You futz!"

"Now now now, that's not nice," said the beautiful princess

As he remembered her voice was Kyoko's, dissipated Yusaku's distress

"Er, how may I help you?" asked the bumbling boy

For he was not sure how to talk to a dream-figmented toy

"Oh Yusaku, you fool, we have been watching you,

And now we have come to give you a Christmas clue!"

The princess sounded cheerful, and Yusaku's mind cleared

So it was then that he realized the boy puppet was more than at first he appeared!

The boy puppet was him, Yusaku's own image!

He'd crafted the boy puppet to have his visage!

But for now there was something important at hand,

He listened to the puppets, hoping to soon understand

What it was that they wanted him to do,

So that Yusaku an exit from this dream could construe

But the puppets, they spoke, and at their words Yusaku gave a start,

They shouted in unison, "Before you and this dream can part

You must decide on the future you will choose

We will tell you both, the first is filled with booze

And flunking out constantly, and despair forever

Because the perfect time to voice your love ended up being never!

Mitaka, he proposed, and since you had nothing to offer Kyoko,

She left with him to start a new life in Po...key...o...!"

"Good golly gosh (is Pokey-o really a place?)!" cried Yusaku in panic

"Tell me the alternative," he said, absolutely frantic

"Ok, keep your pants on," said the little prince

But Yusaku's heart was made of china, patterned flowery chintz

The princess seemed to know, and took pity on the poor fool,

"Oh, but you'll like the next one!" said the one, to Yusaku, less cruel

"Listen, it'll cheer you up, it's a real great Christmas present!"

The boy puppet said randomly, "Would anyone like some roasted X-mas pheasant?"

"No!" yelled the other two, staring down the prince evilly

He immediately felt bad, for in such a situation, acting silly

"Right right, sorry, didn't mean to sidetrack

But you didn't have to gang up on me and attack!"

The princess was sorry, and hugged the other child of cloth

And the prince was reluctant to pull away at last, so went at the speed of a sloth

And though Yusaku empathized, there was a future-staking tale to be told

"Ahem," he coughed subtly, and waited for his other future the puppets to unfold.

"Anyway," began the girl, smiled oh-so happily

"This next one I am sure you'll be happy to see!

You propose Christmas day, that's tomorrow, don't forget

It leads to a happy home, steady job, two nice kids, you'll surely regret

If you don't use this chance while it's is still here for the taking!

For next year at this time Mitaka's move he'll be making!"

Yusaku felt his heart well up with glee

The look on Kyoko's face when he proposed, he couldn't wait to see!

"Take me back to the present, little puppets, thank you!

I wish that there was something for you two I could do!"

"Oh no," said the girl-puppet, "You've done enough,

You and Kyoko together forever is the happy ending better than any pile of stuff!"

So with a wave the two vanished, and Yusaku couldn't feel more grateful,

He didn't even, that day, feel of any person particularly hateful

Not even Mitaka, or Ichinose, or Akemi, or even the slithering Mr Yotsuya

On his way to the jeweler's, Yusaku cried a loud, happy, "Booya!"

And people, they look and they'd point and they'd stare,

But as he blew all his savings on a shiny diamond ring, Yusaku didn't care

He felt like skipping or flying by the time he came home,

Kyoko was sweeping in the foyer as she always was, waiting beside a Christmas gnome

And Yusaku, he stopped, right there in front of

Mr Soichiro, who made no protest, surely a sign of approval from above

And he knelt down on one knee and reached into his pocket,

Took fair Kyoko's hand, she knew it was no trinket like a bracelet or locket

That Yusaku would soon pull right then out of his pants

Kyoko suddenly felt like hers were filled with ants

And right there in the yard, 'spineless' Yusaku said

Words he knew once filled Kyoko with, of betraying her late husband, dread

"I love you, Kyoko, you're the only one there will ever be,

Make me the happiest man alive, will you marry me?"

And as Yusaku opened the small velvet box Kyoko's eyes filled with tears of joy

Thinking of how much taking the beautiful ring would mean to this boy

Or…one who once was a boy, but now could, a proud and tall man stand

Kyoko was sure of her choice as she took the ring and put it on her hand

"Yes Yusaku, I'll marry you! Nothing would make me happier!"

They embraced, topping off the ending that couldn't get any sappier.

And Yusaku almost cried with joy, it was a years-long dream come true

And with some help from puppet-ghosts, it could happen to you!


End file.
